Halloween, and only three weeks early

Friday was Halloween at Anuban Lansak, my big school. As part of Goal Two of the Peace Corps, to educate the world about America, I decided to organize a party showing the students what Halloween really means: doing the “Chicken Dance” and the “Macarena”, running around with a pumpkin on your shoulder and getting candy. In other words, not really teaching them about Halloween at all, but, whatever, they got some candy out of the deal, so everybody wins.

The party was actually a lot more successful than I anticipated it would be. The whole week prior I had been working on making materials and buying materials. I had ghosts and witches on the brain for seven straight days. By the time Friday came, I was just ready to be done with the whole thing. I had invited three of the nearest volunteers to come and help me out, but two of them had to cancel. One has had extensive flooding in his province, and his co-teacher was concerned about him traveling. The other had a severe eye infection and was in Bangkok because, and I quote, the doctor “didn't want him to go blind at site.” I suppose the threat of blindness gives him an acceptable out, although I feel like that could have added a whole new dimension of surprise to this party. I had really needed them all for the scary story that I would be telling, but I'll get to that soon.

Before last week, my co-teacher and I wrote a plan in both English and Thai to get approved by the principal. He said it was great and told other teachers that if they ever wanted to make a special event, they could follow our plan. The day would go for three hours from 1-4 in the afternoon. The students had tests on Monday and Tuesday and then the school was closed on Wednesday and Thursday and reopened on Friday, specifically for this party, which put major pressure on me.

Although the party didn't start until 1 p.m., the kids showed up at 8, like a regular school day, presumably to work on their masks that we had given them earlier in the week, but mostly to play and make a mess. I spent most of the morning preparing for the afternoon and dodging children. Erin, the one volunteer who could come, showed up at 11 with two teachers from her school in tow. We ate lunch together and then shortly after 12, we started.

It was quite a sight: about 230 4^th- through 6^th- graders staring up at me from behind their homemade masks, with rapt attention. Honestly, I have never seen this group so quiet. It was awesome and really made me happy that I had decided to undertake this project because sometimes I forget that these children do not have the same childhood that I did, where Halloween was a holiday that came around every year, and that it was a given that every year I would don a costume and troop around the neighborhood to collect candy. To them, this wasn't just an ordinary event; it was something that most of them had never experienced before, even if it wasn't “pure” Halloween but just a Thai interpretation of it. For once, I was the one being asked why such strange things like black cats and bats are part of this day instead of me doing the asking. To be able to share even this small part of American culture with them was exciting and made me a little proud.

**Side note: homemade costumes can be awesome! Some of these kids took trash and made the coolest costumes out of them. For example, these two adorable girls in fourth grade asked me if it was okay that their costumes were the same because they were going as a ghost “couple,” with matching black trash bags and little red bow-ties.

After I stood in front of the students, said “Happy Halloween” to them and explained in the most simple English what Halloween is, I turned it over to the assistant principal who explained in Thai, again, what the holiday was about, with the help of a printout from Wikipedia. I'm hoping it was at least fairly accurate. I don't really want the kids to think that I hail from a country with cannibals and witch-burnings (which I do, but they don't need to know that). In any case, the kids listened like they've never heard anything more interesting.

Then, I narrated our scary story, with the help of Erin and the students and teacher I enlisted to help. The story itself was probably too complicated (even though it was the simplest story I could fine), but with some help from sound effects courtesy of iTunes and Erin's overwrought acting, the kids loved it.

After, we divided the students into groups with the name of a Halloween creature as their mascot. They had 10 minutes to create a cheer, in English. It was a bit of a fail, but it was the only chance I had to slip in some English, so I figured we'd at least give it a try. In the end, the “Mummies”, a group made up of the best English students from the sixth grade and all girls, won.

As the students were now divided into teams, we had them compete in some games with Halloween themes, like “Pin the tail on the black cat,” which lent itself to some hilarious moments, with kids wandering all over the place. For each event, I gave the first-, second-, and third-place teams “pumpkin points.” The team with the most won some additional candy at the end.

With the threat of rain, we had to cut some events and our “Fashion Show”, where the students were supposed to go up on stage and show off their costumes, was reduced to Erin walking through the crowd and handing out prizes. A little anti-climactic to say the least.

To end the day, we all did “The Chicken Dance” and the “Macarena” as a real tribute to Halloween. Although not technically related to Halloween, I suppose it was a good introduction to American wedding culture and the One-Hit Wonders we've embraced over the years.

The one event that we had to cut was the scary food story, where we would have the kids touch some peeled grapes and tell them it's eyeballs and the like. On one hand, I was disappointed because I went to a lot of trouble to make the food and the big pictures of the body parts that they were supposed to be, but on the other hand, I felt a sense of relief because I didn't know if the whole thing was counter-intuitive to the Thais perception of how food should be treated. Just the day before, I had had to change one of the games because it involved putting a pumpkin on the ground and pushing it with a broom. My co-teacher told me that Thai people don't do this because it's disrespectful to treat food in such a way, which I completely understand. In the end, we changed that event to the kids carrying the pumpkin between their neck and shoulder and passing it to their teammates without using their hands, so I didn't know if telling kids to put their hands all over something that we weren't going to eat after would fly.

I can tell you one thing, though: if we do this again next year, I'm doing it. Just the thought of making those kids squirm when touching spaghetti “intestines” is too much of a temptation.

So, do you ever have those moments where you're thinking about one thing and then that leads you another thought, which leads you to another one? And pretty soon, you're wondering what it was you were even thinking about in the first place? And then your head explodes?

That happened today, and I remembered back when I first got to site, I asked my co-teacher's daughter, who speaks impeccable English some questions from this cultural workbook that Peace Corps gave us because I'm a nerd like that. One of the interesting things that I asked her about was how non-Americans view Americans. According to a  Newsweek article from I don't know when, people from six countries-- France, Brazil, Great Britain, Japan, Mexico, and Germany-- were asked to choose from a list of qualities those they most associated with Americans.

The list of qualities are:

Decisive
Industrious
Sophisticated
Greedy
Lazy
Energetic
Sexy
Intelligent
Nationalistic
Rude
Honest
Self-indulgent
Friendly
Inventive

I thought the four qualities most associated with Americans would be:

1. Friendly
2. Greedy
3. Inventive
4. Honest

And the four least associated with us...

1. Intelligent
2. Sexy
3. Sophisticated
4. Nationalistic

According to Newsweek, the top four were:

1. Energetic
2. Industrious
3. Inventive
4. Friendly

And the bottom four:

1. Lazy
2. Sexy
3. Honest
4. Sophisticated

My co-teacher's daughter's top three:

1. Energetic
2. Industrious
3. Greedy

Bottom three:

1. Lazy
2. Honest
3. Sexy

All of these results were actually better than I expected. I consider myself to be a fairly hardworking person, so I'm always really afraid that people are going to think of me as lazy. I have to justify every "lazy" activity I do to myself, like watching a movie. It's exhausting. 

Missing you all

I called in sick the other day and just sat around watching "Harry Potter" movies, which always makes me think of my brother. For some reason, I'm feeling really nostalgic and missing America a lot lately. I think partly because it's fall there right now, which is my favorite season, and it's still hotter than you-know-where here.

And, of course, I'm missing how easy it was to talk to everyone back in the States. No expensive phone calls or crazy time differences. I knew everything that was going on in everyone's life, even the little mundane details, and now, I feel like I can barely keep up with the big events in people's lives.

Two goals, goal two

Despite the busy and glamorous life I am living out here, one of my followers had the gall to call my blog a fail since I hadn't updated since May. It's not that I haven't wanted to and not that there haven't been things to blog about, but I am a perfectionist and didn't want to put up any blog that I hadn't spent ample time writing and re-writing and then starting over and re-writing again. But, I do have to remember, this is just a blog and not up for the Pulitzer Prize.

So, just a bit of an update.

School's ending in a couple of weeks for a three-week break. During this time, I've set a few goals for myself:

1. Lose 20 pounds
2. Marry the beautiful man from the Nescafe commercials over here.

Only two items. Completely do-able. If those don't pan out, I do want to create a classroom management plan for my two schools that is simple enough for my co-teachers to continue without me there. This has always been my weak point; they are both better at this than I am, but there is one class at one school that always seems to get the better of us, so I would like to try something new. I think I'll also spend the majority of the break playing catch-up in the areas that I've fallen behind in. I need to organize my lesson plans, create materials, etc. In other words, Yay, Break!

But, before break begins, my co-teacher and I are co-hosting a Halloween party at my big school, which I am super stoked about because, if you know me, you know my love of hosting parties. Any chance I get, I'm throwing one. So, I saw this one, called it Peace Corps Goal Two, and I'm on my way. Obviously, there will be a few compromises made, but I'm still looking forward to it.

Unexpectations

Back-story time. Does anyone else feel like this blog is just like an onion, where you keep peeling back the layers of me? No? Just me? Okay, just checking.

When I was in high school, I went to go see a career counselor of sorts and take a test to find out what kind of job I would be good at. (I'm really bad at making decisions for myself.) The test came back positive for a career in education or journalism or law. Lawyer by day; journalist on the education beat by night? Possibly.

When I got accepted to IU, I wanted to double-major in education and journalism and then consider law school afterward, if I wasn't too worn out by then. At the time, I knew I wasn't going to be able to major in both. The school of journalism wants you all for themselves, so the best I could get would be a minor in education which would amount to nada in the real world. Luckily my decision was made for me when I realized that I pretty much hated everyone in the teaching program and decided I couldn't possibly see myself finishing the degree without serious brain damage from banging my head against a wall.

So, journalism it was. I had some amazing instructors at the school and really became interested in advertising. I decided then that I was going to hop on the money train. I'd become an account manager and live my fabulous “Sex and the City” lifestyle, even if doing so had no relevance to what I had found particularly stimulating about advertising in the first place.

After a series of moves from Indianapolis, to Chicago, and then back to Indianapolis and looking for jobs in all the wrong places, I stopped. I gave it all up to a bad economy and began my application for the Peace Corps. That was chugging along for a while, and then I got a job interview. I forget how they got my name, but they did, so I headed up to Chicago once more.

I think it had the potential to go well, but it didn't. Or rather, it did. But in a totally unexpected way. I was sitting there, talking to this guy about where I saw myself in five years or so, and I realized: I absolutely without a doubt do not want to do this. My answers lost any enthusiasm that they originally had, and I walked out of there feeling weird. Isn't this what I've wanted this whole time?

I wrote the guy a thank you e-mail, telling him how much I really wanted the job. I think it was just in case. Just in case I'm really supposed to do this, I'll give it one last go. I didn't get it. In reality, Elizabeth didn't get it; that was who the e-mail was addressed to. Not only was I rejected, but my name was too. If ever I had needed a sign, that was it.

I dove headfirst into the Peace Corps thing after that. I looked for opportunities to use my English teaching skills, but I found nothing, and I needed at least 30 hours of tutoring experience before I could go forward with the process. I just thought it was my bad luck, but after speaking with my Granny, always full of wisdom, I realized I was most definitely not doing everything I could. She told me that if I really wanted to do this, then I was going to have to try a lot harder and search everywhere and told me some good places to look.

I followed her ever-sage advice and found some stuff, which I continued until I left for Korea. I remember driving home from those ESL classes, filled with eager immigrants just wanting a little piece of America for themselves, feeling elated. Yes, elated. After a year of no good news, this was a definite up.

Then, I went to Korea and got beaten down by the hagwon system, but that's a tale for another blog. Oh, yeah, tried that already.

Anyway, here I have two days per week at each of my two schools, and Fridays are my community days, where I go out in search of how I can save this godforsaken place. I kid. But an opportunity did find me while I was out jogging (soft “j”) one day. The chief of police approached me and asked if I would be willing to teach English to his police officers every Friday.

Last Friday was my first class. For the first time in a long time, that sense of elation returned. This can't just be stomach indigestion. Could it be that I've actually discovered what I want to do as a career? I mean, besides being an international jet-setter and just general bad-ass? Yes, methinks so.

For this, I consider myself lucky. I know a lot of people go through life without ever having experiencing this. What else would the point of midlife crises be?

Thankfully, this makes my decisions of what to do with myself so much easier when I go back home. So, don't worry Mom and Dad, your extra bedroom is safe from me.  

On Learning a Language

When I was in PST, we had to study Thai for four hours a day, four days a week. In addition to this we were living with a host family and just generally “being” in Thai society. Needless to say, there was a lot of learning going on. At first, I really enjoyed going to class. I had two awesome classmates and a great teacher. I was excited to be able to have conversations with my host family, albeit short awkward ones that pretty much consisted of what we were eating, how it tasted, was it delicious, and then ended with us staring at one another for a few seconds before they returned to their “adult” conversation and let the weird, foreign “child” alone. I would study while they were watching T.V., and I felt like I was making progress, breaking the code of Thai, if you will.

And then...I don't know. It just stopped being fun. In fact, it started to be a chore. I started to dread going to class. I began to really doubt myself in conversations; I felt like I couldn't even be trusted with “Sawatdee-ka” anymore. (Sawatdee-ka...Really? That doesn't sound right...) In class, it felt like I was continually adding stories to a building with an increasingly shaky foundation. Eventually, I resorted to sabotage. I was constantly thwarting all of our teacher's efforts to start class by asking cultural questions and gossiping. At home, I didn't study in front of the T.V. anymore. My days of being a good little student seemed to be over.

Then, the day of reckoning came. We had our language proficiency exam. Mine was early, so I at least didn't have to spend the whole day fretting. I went in, chatted with the lady for about 20 minutes and then walked out. No big deal. I thought it went OK, but the rest of the day was spent comparing exams to other volunteers, effectively increasing my stress. (Yours lasted 30 minutes? You had two role plays?!)

Luckily, we didn't have to wait long. We got our results the following Monday. I got an intermediate low, which is a level above what I needed as a TCCO volunteer, but a level below what I wanted and what everyone else seemed to receive. Despite the fact that I passed, I was really disappointed in myself. I knew that I was better than the score I received. And there, ladies and gentlemen, is the story of me and languages. And it goes back to forever, or seventh grade. I have tried to learn no less than five languages now. German through high school; a couple of semesters of Italian in college, which I was forced to drop before the “D” ruined my GPA; sign language for four semesters; Spanish, on my own (most pathetic attempt ever) and then, Korean. All in all, a pretty pitiable track record as I am not even conversational in one.

Thai was different though. I actually put some effort into this one. I know exactly what my problem is. If the exam had been a written one, I would've blown it out of the water. When I'm confronted with an oral test, though, I become a mess. I think I managed a good “My name is Ashley.” I had to lie my way around what my dad does by telling the exam administrator that my dad works as a cook at a hotel. So far from the truth I might as well have told her he was an astronaut, which I would've done if I'd had the vocabulary. In other words, my nerves get the best of me, and I have no confidence when it comes to speaking. I run every sentence through about ten filters before I finally say it. I know I have to get over this, but it's a constant struggle.

But, the point of talking about this is to tell how this relates to me now. In my state of super ambition at site, I made a list of goals for myself that I'd like to fulfill by the time I complete my service. One of these is to score a superior on my Thai exam at the close of service. Close to impossible, I know, but I figured it's worth a shot.

So far, I've been pretty determined and focused with my studying. I get up most mornings at around 5 a.m. to study for an hour and then do another half hour before I go to bed. I've also been carrying a notebook around with me and writing down any new words I hear and have been asking how to say certain things. I can read now; I'm working on my writing.

Since being at site, I've determined that even though the language training during PST is great, fabulous even, I know my learning style best. I know what works and what doesn't for me. Learning to read has been the most helpful thing to me. Once I can visualize what a word looks like, it will stay in my head if not forever, then for at least a good while. A very small proportion of language class was spent on reading, which is understandable, but I think it also hindered my learning a bit. Before PST ended, I was pretty sure that my Thai learning would come to a standstill, but I've learned that it is possible to become your own teacher. At least until I can find a Thai boyfriend.  

Bird Suicides

They really need to stop crashing into the windows on my balcony. 

So, it's not so strange, but Songkran, a holiday where we just throw water on one another constantly, is quite fun. In the mornings, we would go to the temple and tam boon, or make merit. To make merit is to do things to improve your karma. You may offer food to the monks or visit sick people or any other variety of activities that are essentially just nice things to do for people. We went to offer food to the monks. What goes down is this: first, we go to pray in front of the statue of the Buddha and stick some incense in a bowl in front of the statue. Then, the monks come in and say some prayers. We offer them the food and wait for them to finish eating. They say some more prayers and then we take the food that they didn't finish eating back for ourselves. There is always a ton of food because there may be only a few monks but many people coming to pray have brought two or three dishes each. And before you get grossed out by the fact that we're eating other people's leftovers, keep in mind that Thais eat communally so they would just take a spoonful of food and put it over their rice.

On Wednesday, after we finished doing this, we went to my co-teacher's dead husband's father's house, where we helped prepare food to offer again to more monks. We ate. And ate. And ate some more. Then, we asked his parents for blessings by washing their hands. From there, we went to her mother's house to repeat the same hand-washing ritual.

After all the eating and washing, I was pretty tired and just wanted to come home and rest, but my host family was going to a wat, so I decided to go. We watched a bunch of drunks dance around. Two guys came up to me and powdered my face and then we went into the wat to say some more prayers. After, everyone lined up to bless the monks. So, we put a little water onto their hands. Then, we got to play with the water ourselves. We threw it at one another, and I got soaked. When we got home, my two little sisters and my brother, who's my age, had a water fight. Pretty awesome. I don't know if it's just my family or what, though, because their idea of a water fight was each person takes a turn to go over to the other side and splash them with water. Seems a little too orderly to be called a “fight”, but “tomato, tomatoh”, I suppose.

Later that night, my co-teacher's daughter heard about the two guys powdering me at the temple and got pretty upset, saying that I shouldn't let them do that to me. I know people get all up in arms about drunks, but I just find it amusing most of the time. I never really felt like I was threatened. I think that they feel like all of this “harassment” (and I use that term very lightly) is new to me, but honestly, there are just as many, if not more, creeps in the states that like to be, well, creepy.  

Things that are going on:

1. Water fight! This week starts Songkran, which is the Thai New Year. Since April is the hottest month of the year, people use the opportunity to throw water at one another all week. Works for me. Now people won't be able to tell if I'm wet because I'm sweating from pores I was unaware I had or if someone just splashed me. It's a time for cleaning, preparing for a new year. Many people visit the wats, or temples, and give food to the monks to receive merit. In other words, it's good for their karma. It's also a great time to get drunk, apparently. The Thai government has begun educating its citizens on the dangers of drunk-driving through a PSA on TV featuring Thai celebrities. All I know is that it may not be such a bad idea to wear my awesome bike helmet at all times. Last year, there were 3,500 road accidents, according to the Bangkok Post. Also, this is one of the two most popular times of year for girls to lose their virginity. Not surprising since it's like a week long wet T-shirt contest here.

2. Thai-dancing. Ooh la la. Yesterday I had my first lesson in Thai dancing. One of my co-teachers also runs a shop for making Thai dance costumes and wanted to show me some of them. So, I spent a few hours fumbling around her store trying to bend my hands in weird ways. It's very beautiful though. I had a good time and have now considered changing career paths once I return home. Yeah, I'm that good. Kidding. She asked me if I wanted to help make a costume for myself as well. Uh, heck yeah. So, my Saturdays for the next month are booked. On a more terrifying note, everyone told me that if I get good enough, I can perform the dances in front of my school. Alone. Thanks but no thanks. May have to feign a sprained ankle at some point.

3. Running. Not only is it good for your heart, but it can also get you projects in your 'hood. I go running every evening (ok, that's a lie) in front of the police station around the corner from my house. One day, a couple of officers approached and asked me if I could teach English to the officers because my area is frequented by foreign tourists. So, I have spent the last week making lesson plans with my co-teacher, who is way beyond nice in helping me with the various things I have to do. I really lucked out there. Although I will say I was a little surprised when she told the police chief that I wanted to join them when they play soccer in the afternoons. (I don't, and believe me, they wouldn't want me too.)

4. Thai dramas. Really weird. Filled with ghosts and the lamest attempts at special effects that I may have ever seen. Also, what Thai people find to be comedic is so weird to me. You know those old comedies where people would back into one another in a scary house and scream and the audience would howl? Yeah. It's like that. Sigh. I miss "30 Rock."

5. It's hot. Did I already mention that one?

Bored. And hot. Oh so hot. This week is Songkran, though. So, I'm anticipating a lot of interaction with water. I'll let you know how that goes. 

Sleepover

Over this past weekend, I stayed with my paw-aw, or principal, and his wife at their house with their daughter, P'Dtia, who's a doctor somewhere 'round these parts. I went sightseeing around my area with the wife and daughter, and I've definitely been able to add a couple of cool things to the list of places that I can bring people should they decide to visit beyond the somdtam restaurant by my school. We were joined on our little day trip by my paw-aw's niece, P'Neung. I should explain that the P' before people's nicknames is a sign of respect towards people that are older than you. Also, everyone in Thailand has a nickname because first names tend to be so long. I've had two in my three months here, and they've both been flowers, along with a few other people in my training group, because all foreigners are beautiful like flowers?

I really enjoyed spending time with P'Dtia and P'Neung for a couple of reasons. First of all, they both speak excellent English, which was a nice change from the very stunted conversations I've been having recently. Also, they both are kind of, well...not normal. At least in Thailand. They are both in their 30s and not married, and I don't think they have any plans to get married, and I think they're okay with that. P'Neung is an archaeologist who works at a university in Bangkok and majored in art history. She is also very knowledgeable of world events. We talked about history and politics, movies and TV shows.

To me, it's always kind of refreshing to meet women that break out of the mold for what's expected. I suppose because, from a certain standpoint, I can relate to them. In the past year and a half, I've spent only two months at home, and I know that many people back in the U.S. can't really understand my desire to be here and do what I'm doing, so I feel like kindred spirits with people, especially women, who don't always follow the crowd.

I'm learning from this experience, though, that, just as in America, Thais don't always fit the stereotype that we've attributed to them. Women don't walk around in beautiful Thai dress with their make-up done to perfection serving the men around them with a demure smile (at least not in everyday life). Although struggles here vary from the U.S., the need to take care and protect your loved ones and help run a successful household is still present.

So, I'm sitting here at my new site in Uthaithani, a province about three and a half hours outside of Bangkok. Honestly, this is the Thailand that I've dreamed of. There are these fantastic mountains that just pop out of nowhere in the generally flat plains of central Thailand. Right near my house is a preservation, Huai Kha Kaeng Wildlife Sanctuary, which has elephants and tigers. From the balcony outside of my bedroom, I have a few of a couple of the nearby mountains and about seven palm trees, just swaying in the breeze. Sometimes, I think it's unfair to call this Peace Corps. Not that being here hasn't come with its fair share of challenges so far. Language is obviously still a barrier. Even with my co-teacher, who speaks a bit of English, we have our moments of frustration. I'll ask a question, and she'll give an answer to a completely different one, or she'll speak to me in Thai as if I was fluent in it. All of this has made me that much more determined to improve my Thai. I realized yesterday, while sitting in a meeting at school, that I am going to have a difficult time getting people to trust me enough to involve me in community projects if we can't even communicate with one another. It can also be a really lonely situation. I'm surrounded by people all of the time (I live with seven other people after all), but I don't feel like I can really share who I am with them. They know I like to run, and that I will be teaching English. But, of course I can't tell them about the complexities of living in America, or why I really want to be here, or what my dreams are for the future. And I can't hear theirs. We can talk about food and the weather and how delicious Thai fruits are. I can just see how isolating this can all become, and how some volunteers may feel as if they're losing themselves, when they actually joined the Peace Corps to do the opposite: find themselves. I'm determined to not let it get the better of me. I have my mechanisms for dealing with stress and a good network of friends, both here and back home, so I know I can get through this; they know I can too. And that keeps me going. 


I also have the support of a great co-teacher, who has taken me on as a daughter. Two reasons why I love her:
1) She's really down with the whole TCCO project. She knows that I'm not supposed to be teaching by myself. She likes working with me to create lesson plans (we've already done enough for one term), and she is willing to help me in whatever way she can to get started on my project in the community. Having someone that is really supportive of the objectives of Peace Corps is so awesome. Not having it be that way would make this whole thing much more difficult. 
2) She's very modern and forward-thinking. In the classroom, she already uses many of the student-centered methods that we are proponents of. She eats brown rice because it's healthier than white. She has a daughter that works in Bangkok, speaks fantastic English, and has an American boyfriend. And from one of our conversations, I think she wants Thailand to do away with some of the more old-fashioned ideas, like minor wives. 


To tell you the truth, there have not been that many things about Thai culture that have absolutely shocked me, besides the treatment, or lack thereof, of dogs. Dogs wander around. Everywhere. Some have owners or at least people that feed them. Some don't. They're in classrooms, public buildings, you name it. But I digress. I'll save the dog discussion for another time. One of my host "sisters", I came to find out, is a minor wife. Meaning that she is one of about twenty wives for this one man. She stays at the same house where I'm staying, but he only comes around every once in awhile. He works only about 30 km from here, so I assume he's staying with his other wives during the time that he's not here. I am not going to get on my soapbox here about how this is just another example of male chauvinism in a culture where men are glorified and women are simply tolerated or anything. I think thoughts like that are changing. It was just a shock to me because as my friend Sara put it: "It's one of those things that you hear about on TV or something, but you don't really expect it." To me, it was just another indication that I do not have this culture completely figured out just yet. It also gave me an entirely new respect for American men. Maybe men in America would take on more than one wife if given the chance, but maybe not. From this experience, I've also learned that Americans are more sentimental about love than other cultures, so maybe just one good wife would be enough. 

Has it really been almost two months?

Sorry about that...Next posts: MY SITE!!, minor wives, my awesome co-teacher

Some More Blogs Coming Your Way

Saturday, January 22^nd

            Today all I wanted to do was stay in bed. This week has been so long and so tiring that I just wanted to chill. Have a little me-time. But no. We had to do community mapping. It's an exercise that will really help us when we get into our permanent villages because it helps us to determine the important people and places where we live, which, of course, is helpful when we're trying to do projects. So, I met my group at 8 a.m. where we went over some key vocabulary before setting off. We needed to know how to ask who the village leaders, or poo-yai-baans are, what certain buildings are, etc. Plus, this was a good opportunity for us to check out where the noodle shops are, kind of a big deal to me.

            Our group of five didn't stop at too many other places other than our host family's houses. We stopped at Chris' place to learn about a lot of different plants because his dad is an organic farmer. From there, we went and saw the wat in our area, which is pretty, as most of them are. They're kind of like the Catholic churches in Italy, very elaborately decorated but far more colorful. I want to return tomorrow to take pictures. Then we went to Kylene's house. Her dad was able to tell us some of the leaders in her village. My dad is the head of the village where I live.

            Riding on, we stopped at Rick's where a lot of people in the community were giving food to about 8 monks during a ceremony to celebrate his host brother becoming a monk. Different from what I previously thought, becoming a monk is not like becoming a priest. For most men, it is not a lifelong occupation. In fact, they are encouraged to leave the monk hood and marry. It is just a way for men to devote themselves to the teachings of Buddhism and grow up. Men are considered raw before being a monk and cooked after, finally able to take on the responsibilities and challenges of being an adult. The ceremony was pretty interesting. Although, I felt like a bit of intruder since I'm not a Buddhist, but the Thais didn't seem to feel that way. They gave us some food to offer to the monks.

            The whole experience made me anxious to get to site and discover my own community.

*Edited version of previous post. Completely forgot that I already posted this, but I was able to provide more information about the Buddhist ceremony this time around.

Sunday, January 23^rd

            Today I stayed in bed until the late hour of 6:45. Lazy me. Actually, I would've laid around longer, but the family wanted to take me to the market with them. I stuck out like a sore thumb. I was definitely the only pale face in the bunch. We picked up some things for dinner and our breakfast. Jame, Bone and I each got sticky rice with shredded pork. Surprisingly tasty.

            After we got back home and ate, my mom taught me how to do laundry by hand. I must have done a pretty decent job because she kept telling me, “Geng ma ka,” very good. That, or she just felt bad for me and my lack of clothes-cleaning ability. After that, she wanted me to meet some of her friends, one of whom owns a pork noodle shop. Anyone who owns a goy-dtiao moo restaurant is all right by me. We all sat around and chatted, me spittin' Thai phrases like what?! Not really, but I aspire to eventually have those kinds of chats with people where I can actually participate and not use the verbiage of a two-year-old. Actually, there was a two-year-old there, and I think she was able to say more than I could. Anyway, I ate lunch there, which was excellent. At this point, I could write a Zagat entry on pork noodle restaurants, I've been to so many.

            After lunch, Jame wanted to take me to what I thought would be her friend's house. Nope. She took me to Megan's. Then she wanted to take me to Chris' house, where Megan had just returned from because I guess their families are trying to set the two of them up. It's a really tiny community. I actually think Jame just wanted to go there, so she could use the Internet, I was just her convenient excuse to go. It's all good, though. I needed to get out of the house. The three of us went to explore a wat down the street and relaxed on Chris' porch, while he played the guitar. Meanwhile, everyone at home is bundled up in sub-zero temps. Suckas.

Monday, January 24^th

            Today we had to put condoms on bananas and learn a Thai dance. Enough said.

Tuesday, January 25^th

            This morning we went to observe a local prahtom, or elementary school. The TCCO group separated into three smaller groups. Each went to a different school. Of the 12 in my group, eight of us interviewed the principal of the school. He seemed like he had the right ideas about what education should be. He wanted a student-centered approach in his classrooms versus teacher-centered.

            To give you an idea, American schools are student-centered, wherein unique ideas and critical thinking are encouraged, even expected. For most of Asia, though, rote memorization is the norm. A teacher will stand at the front of the class and lecture on English, mostly focusing on grammar. However, most of these teachers don't even know much English themselves. In math, this may not be such a bad thing, but children will never learn how to converse in English using this method. Hence, the reason we are here. Our job as volunteers is not really to teach English but to help our Thai co-teachers at site develop more effective teaching strategies so as to create a sustainable and long-lasting impact in the community. Also, for those of you who may think that this is just another case of America barging in and trying to impose themselves on different countries, the Peace Corps only goes into countries where they are wanted and into communities where people have indicated a desire to have an American volunteer.

            The principal we visited sees the merit in the student-centered approach. In fact, as an example, this year his students made their own shampoo and soap after deciding, as a group, what kind of each they wanted to make. This school seems to be rather esteemed in this area as only 70 of the 269 students are local; the rest come from other districts. It was an interesting conversation. Plus, I got to use some of my rusty journalism skills.

            We all converged at our training hub to discuss our experiences at the three schools. All of the principals seemed to care a great deal about their schools. A lot of what determined a good class seemed to be the teachers' classroom management skills.

            After learning Thai, this is my next biggest fear. Only after a year of practically begging students to listen to me did I finally get control of my classes in Korea. That was definitely the worst part. And my one class of eight fourteen-year-old boys never did come around. I think I've learned some things, though., which I'll put into effect here.

            After lunch, we had language class, where I not only learned how to order at a restaurant but also the words for 'dick', 'boobs', and to do someone. My next restaurant experience should be an interesting one.

Wednesday, January 26^th

            Language today in the morning. I love Ajaan Sarita. She's so cute and sweet. I really couldn't have asked for a better teacher. She's so well-traveled too. Se spent a year in Australia, and she's been to the States four times to work during summers. She's really patient and moves at a good pace for the three of us.

            In the afternoon, Carol and I watched the English class that we'll be doing a practicum in over nine days. Turns out, my little brother from my host family is in my class, which I think is pretty cool. The teacher has only been teaching English for a year and doesn't know much English, but she did a really great job using what English she does know. The class is 15 six-year-old’s, whom I love. There's just something about the little kids that's so refreshing to me. It might be because they're so unsullied by anything negative in the world. They still love school and love their teacher and haven't become bitter about the educational system yet. There's a lot of positive energy in those young classes. I'm looking forward to being there.

Friday, January 28^th

            Today we had our dry-run for the first day of our practicum. I think it went pretty well. I think we just need to polish it up a bit so that it goes more smoothly in practice. We're teaching some animal words and the numbers one, two, and three.

            To tell you the truth, I think everyone's feeling a bit dull this week. It seems we've fallen into a bit of a routine and the honeymoon period is over for most of us. The next two weeks of practicum will hopefully shake things up a bit and get us out of this rut.

Saturday, January 29^th

            So, on Saturdays we have half days. After this week, I really didn't want to do more PC stuff. This week was stressful because we had to interview the principal of a local school, observe the Thai teacher we'll be co-teaching with, create and present a lesson with our partner for the Thai classroom as well as present a food and do a skit that represents America for Thai Day today. There was a lot going on. I was initially dreading today because I was afraid it would just be a gigantic waste of a precious Saturday, but it turned out to be really fun.

            We had to be at our hub site at 8 a.m. wearing our pasins and pakamas. Pasins are the fabric that Thai women wear, mostly to lounge around their house or cover themselves up when going to take a shower. Pakamas are the male versions, but most men I see just wear them around their heads. We sat around chatting with one another for a while and then we all did the Thai dance we had learned earlier in the week. My host dad was at the hub for a meeting of host families and saw me doing the dance, so now every once in a while they want me to do a little bit. Just for a good laugh. We listened to some traditional Thai instruments and then watched as the ajaans did a little rendition of “New York, New York.” It was Frank Sinatra's version, which reminded me of my dad making dinner back at home. It made me a little sad.

            After their cute song and dance number, it was the volunteers' turn to present our version of America. We had split into our two technical groups. As it turns out, though, each group did a similar thing, where we split the states up into regions and then each did a little skit from each one. Ours was pretty funny, just fun facts about the Midwest. And a joke knocking Iowa for having only corn. All in all, everyone's was pretty entertaining. I thought that they would all just have stereotypes about how awful Americans are, but we painted a pretty accurate picture, with the occasional bad American culture reference, i.e. the South has a bunch of drunks who love Nascar and all people on the west coast are either hippies or self-obsessed valley girls.

            Then, we each had to present the Thai food we had selected earlier in the week. My group had picked a dessert, which was basically coconut soup with bananas. I had bought a version at a local market and brought it home for my family when my host mom told me that she would help me make it. The next day I came home, and she had a couple of neighbor girls scraping the meat out of coconuts with this crazy tool, which is like a little bench with a rounded knife attached. The knife has a serrated edge, so you sit on the bench and scrape out the coconut meat.

            Side-note: Coconuts are so much more than I originally thought. First, you have the very inside, which holds the water. Coconut water is really good for you, really hydrating. Then, you have the cream, which is slightly gooey. Towards the outside, is the meat, which is what Americans associate with coconut. By the way, I hate coconut in America. Here, I can't get enough of them.

            Anyway, after removing all the meat, you put it into a bowl and then pour hot water over it. Squeeze the liquid out of the coconut, creating milk. Do this a few times until you have the desired amount of liquid. Trash the meat. Put the liquid into a pot and heat it on the stove. Add sugar until it's sweet enough. Slice up bananas and add to the pot. And there you have it. It's so simple but really delicious. Only a small sample of the great foods I've had here.

            After our food presentations, we ate lunch, and then headed home. A few of my friends' families as well as mine were at a birthday party, so we headed there and ate more. So much for losing weight here.

Sunday, January 30^th

            Today I woke up early to do the dishes because my host dad got it into his head that I should get prepared for living on my own for two years. Then, I did my laundry again. There is nothing quite so awkward as having your Thai dad watch as you hang up your bra and underwear. After that, he made me help with breakfast. I made pat pak, which is like stir-fried vegetables and kai diao, which is a fried egg, only more delicious because you use about a cup of oil to cook it. Ordinarily, I would hate the bossing around, but I can tell that my family is actually really loving and cares a lot about me.

            After all those chores were finished, the family hopped in the old pickup truck and headed to Ayutthaya City. First, we stopped at a wat with a huge Buddha inside. I feel so awkward in wats. On one hand, I want to be reverent and respectful, but on the other hand, it's not a religion I observe, so am I being disrepectful to their beliefs, mine, both or neither? It's kind of tricky.

            Then, we moved on to the market, where we looked around for a bit, then headed to lunch. After, we watched an elephant show, which was pretty cool. One was even able to do crow's pose, which I can't even do. I just hope they're getting fed regularly.

            I thought we were going home after that, but we went to the floating market instead. It was just a bunch of stores on a boardwalk over some water, but it was still pretty. Definitely a place I'd return to with people that would like to visit me. :)

            We left for home after that. I really do enjoy being around me family. My mom is pretty funny. I hope they like me as much as I like them.

Monday, January 31^st

            Today started our 4^th week of PST. I can't believe we've already been here that long. Just 26 more months to go. Tomorrow starts our practicum in the Thai classroom, so today, during our morning session, Carol and I met with our co-teacher. Tomorrow we're teaching them the words rabbit, bird and fish and working on the numbers one, two and three. I hope it all goes well.

            After lunch, we listened to a monk speak about how Buddhism plays into Thai society. It was a very enlightening talk, no pun intended, because it kind of clued me into why some things happen the way they do here. For example, scheduling and being on time is something that we take pretty seriously in the West, but it isn't so much a factor here. Some of that stems from the Buddhist principle that the moment is really what's important, so planning ahead is not really emphasized. Also, Buddha is not a god though some treat him as such, and Buddhism is not a religion. At least it's not a religion in the Western sense because there isn't a god that is being worshiped. In reality, Buddha was just teacher, who was able to reach enlightenment. Honestly, it's something that I am interested in reading more about because it sounded like something I would like to challenge myself with. It's really about living simply and getting rid of all of the desires and distractions in your mind that keep you from reaching an enlightened state. I'm not saying that I'm going all New Age-y on everyone. There are people that combine Buddhism with other religions, like Christianity or Judaism. Personally, I've never been too big a fan of having to choose one thing to believe in anyway. It's very limiting.

Tuesday, February 1^st

            Today, after morning language classes, Carol and I went for our first day of co-teaching. We had spent quite a bit of time planning the lesson, and I had drawn about four different pictures of birds, rabbits and fish each, totaling 12. I was really nervous beforehand because, although we had spoken to our Thai counterpart the previous day, we only went over the topic and words that we would teach, not the format for how they would be presented or anything. We showed up, and she had a completely different plan worked out.

            The whole thing actually went pretty well. The kids got to sing some songs and do some dances. She has a great way of presenting the words to the kids that gets them really excited. So, it threw us for a loop, but Carol and I just kind of rolled with it. I'm learning to just listen to the Thais: mai pen rai. No worries. Hakuna matata style. This teacher knows her students better than we do, and who am I to go in there and tell her what to do anyway? At the end of the lesson, she told the ajaan who was observing us that tomorrow she would let us run the lesson more. I think she was just trying to get us used to the classroom atmosphere. I appreciate all the help I can get. Carol and I planned some more after class. Hopefully, we'll get to use some more of our ideas tomorrow.

Wednesday, February 2^nd

            Chinese New Year. R.I.P. slaughtered chickens.

Later, Wednesday, February 2^nd

            At language class today, I asked Sarita if we could take our show on the road one of these days and get out of our classroom. She said yes, so sometime next week, we'll get to go out and put our language skills to the test out in the community. Speaking Thai is getting better. I really enjoy going to class. At the moment, I'm just having some real problems with the pronunciation. My mouth just does not want to make some of the sounds. For example, the word for the fruit rambutan is “ngo.” I sound like I'm choking myself when I try to say it. I'm considering just never getting any while I'm here, which is a shame because they're delicious.

            After language, I rode over to Carol's to finish our lesson plans. Although I had already eaten lunch at school, I had to eat some more at her house because her mom had made food. Here lies a value behind every Thai home: wherever you go, you will be invited and expected to eat. This is fine, if you have a huge appetite and your pants are too big. Not so much the case with me.

            But I'm trying my best to counteract it. I wake up early to do some exercises and do yoga and more exercises before bed. Hopefully I won't have to invest in any new clothes before I move to site.

            The home stay supervisor was around the area and stopped in to east as well, even though she had just eaten at a neighbor's. Even the Thais aren't immune to the constant offering of food. I asked if my host family mentioned anything about me that I needed to change. She said the only thing that they said was that I kept hitting my head on their low doorways. Unfortunately, shrinking is not a possibility at the moment.

Thursday, February 3^rd

            Today we had our language class and started out by working on pronunciations. I'm doing okay on sentence construction and vocabulary, but my pronunciation is really weak. Not only that, but I can't really tell the difference between what I'm saying and what my ajaan was saying. It wouldn't matter so much, but Thai is a tonal language, so one word can have five meanings depending on how you say it. For example, mai. It can mean new, not, silk, fine, and can be used to convert a statement into a yes-or-no question. Luckily, context helps a great deal, so people aren't likely to think that I'm saying that I want to eat silk when I mean that I don't want to eat at all. It can just be a bit much for the novice to take on.

            In the lesson, my teacher kept correcting me, to the point where I was on the verge of tears. I'm not super-sensitive about it, and she's not picking on me, I know, but I was just incredibly frustrated. I think she saw that my face was getting red because she kind of eased up after that. I don't want her to stop correcting me or anything; I've just realized that this is an area that I'm going to have to put more effort into.

            After lunch, Carol and I had our second solo teaching session. Today we worked on learning some more animals, using numbers to describe how many and three verbs for what they do. We both thought yesterday's lesson went better because the kids were more into it, but our observer, who is the TCCO technical instructor, told us she had no comments for us; it was that good. I was pretty pleased after that. Tomorrow we're helping them write and playing BINGO.

Saturday, February 5^th

            Today was Thai Sports Day. On Saturdays, we usually do something fun to learn about Thai culture. Today it was sports, which I was pretty pumped about. We got to the field and separated into our six teams. I was on the green team. We spent the first 30 minutes making up a cheer for our team using both Thai and English words. Ours involved repeating the phrase, “Green team” a lot and some cheer leading stuff. Personally, I would've liked to have put some spirit fingers in there somewhere. We also nicknamed ourselves the Green Cats because green in Thai is key-ow, which rhymes with the word for cat, mee-ow. Fierce, I know. All of our pictures involved cat poses.

            After everyone performed their cheers, we played our first game, dta-graw, which is a combination of hacky sack and volleyball. There are three players on each team. One person pitches it to another, and they have to kick it over a net. One team is only allowed three hits to get it over, using any body part but their hands. I sucked at this one. I have terrible eye-foot coordination, which is why I always dread soccer games. My team didn't have the same issues, luckily, so we won the game.

            Next, we played chairball. It's like basketball except  a person stands up on a chair and holds a basket that others have to shoot into. I actually was pretty awesome at this one, being from basketball country and all. I scored the only two baskets for our team. Of course, some of that success is attributed to the person holding the basket, who can move it to make sure that the ball goes in. A few of us got so into it that the ajaans had to tell us to jai yen yen, which means be patient, but I think in this context it meant calm down. Alas, despite our intensity, the green team succumbed to defeat.

            After that, we played a bocce ball type game called petanque. One team throws a smaller ball out onto a playing field, and then the other players try to get as close to it as they can. The team that gets the most balls closest wins. Our team won that one as well.

            Last was a relay race. The first person had to blow flour off a coin and pick it up with their mouth or some business. I was waiting at the other end of the field, so I didn't see much except a cloud of dust. The next person had to blow a balloon until it popped. Then, there was a four-legged race to another person, who had to use a cucumber tied to a string around their waist to hit a lime to another person who continues to do the same thing. They called it “Thai Golf.” To me, it looked more like a form of fore-play. Next a person had to eat a banana fed to them by another person while blindfolded. For some reason, this relay race seemed replete with sexual overtones. To more wholesome challenges. Three people had to pass a ping pong ball to each other using chopsticks. This was my part. Typically, I am a pro with the chopsticks. This time, I was apparently buckling under the pressure because I couldn't control the shaking of my hands. I just dropped it on the ground, so the next person could pick it up. Terrible. The last person in line had to beat a box with a stick while blindfolded. We destroyed the competition.

            After they announced the winners of the day. Yellow team won the cheer contest, but green made moves where it mattered most and proudly excepted our first place prize of a box of cookies.

            We ate some coconut ice cream in a hot dog bun with sticky rice (better than it sounds), played volleyball, and then ate lunch. It was a really great day overall. Nice to be exercising instead of (just) eating, for a change.

            On a sadder note, a while ago, my host dad cut his fingers really badly while out in the rice fields one day. He got stitches, and I thought that his hand was getting better, but now he's in the hospital. I think they got infected. My mom's younger sister is staying with us now. I'm really worried. I don't want to be an additional burden to them while he's sick.

So, here's a lot of updates

*First, I have to begin by explaining the long drought between my last post and this one as well as the deluge of posts that is about to occur. I am currently in my home stay and as with most of the underdeveloped world, I am without consistent Internet. So, if you thought I was dead, I'm not. If you thought I was too wrapped-up in my own business to care about updating you, I am.

Perpetually kidding,

Ashley

Saturday, January 15^th

            First day in Thailand with no Internet. I'm in my home stay now. I'm almost too tired to write this, but I think I should get everything down now. Today I woke up in the hotel and did some yoga in the room before Christine and I headed down to our final buffet breakfast. It was nice to get in one last piece of toast before the onslaught of rice. We ate, and then at 8:00 a.m. we headed up to our morning training sessions.

            We discussed our home stay at great length. We found out in which sub-district we would be in Ayutthaya, the district in which our training is taking place for the next two months. I'm a pretty short distance away from our hub, so the bike ride won't be bad. I was looking for more of a challenge in my ride, but I guess that's what you get when you only score a 3/5 in signaling on the bike test. Ouch.

            Before our first language class today, we had four sessions on different situations we'll encounter during home stay. First was the bathroom issue. As in using the toilet. Three things differ between westerners and Thais, at least in the bathroom. Thais squat, don't use toilet paper and flush with a bucket. Thais that haven't embraced the western ways that is. So, the whole potty thing plays out like this: first, you walk up to what is essentially a hole in the ground. Position yourself over said hole. Do your business. Wipe yourself with a combination of your left hand and water. Use your right hand to draw water from a nearby bucket and use it to push waste down previously mentioned hole. Apply ample amounts of soap to scrub excrement off of hands. I haven't had to deal with this issue yet, and luckily, my host family also has a western toilet on the premises, so I may not have to.

            We also discussed washing our clothes. In order to observe the hand-foot rule (the feet are the dirtiest part of the body, and the head is considered sacred, so these two things should never meet), clothes should be washed in order from top to toe. Communal eating was brought up as well as going to bed. All of these everyday tasks seemed full of cultural implications. For example, when sleeping, your head should be pointed towards the house shrine. Again, the head-foot rule. The session made me wonder if any of these things done in America have any exact rules. The closest thing we have is don't mix your colors with your whites.

            After all of these mini lessons, we had two language classes. My group was only three people, which makes learning awesome. Language was my biggest fear coming over here. It's made me very thankful that I spent a year in Korea for a couple of reasons. First, I know that just being in the culture helps you to pick up some words. Second, I have been able to really hone my context-reading skills. I've come to realize that you don't have to hear and understand every single word to be able to figure out what someone's talking about. It's made me a much better learner because I can keep a more open mind about the whole process.

            After our lessons on numbers and family members, we all met in a big room to meet our host families. Even though I've stayed with families before, I was still really nervous. Turns out I had nothing to worry about. My family is so sweet. The car ride and introductions were a little awkward, but luckily in Thailand, everything can be smoothed out over a meal. I have two parents, a sister, 15, and a brother, 7. My sister, Jame, showed me around the neighborhood. After unpacking, I took my first bucket shower, which was surprisingly refreshing. They're really helping me with my Thai. Tomorrow I'll spend all day with them. With our very limited communication, I think I was able to deduce that we'll be going to the Buddhist temple, wat, tomorrow. Who knows? Who really cares? I'm in Thailand. All is right.

Sunday, January 16^th

            First night in the home stay. Loudest morning ever. There is a rooster (or 12?) right outside my window that starts crowing at 4 a.m. At least I don't have to worry about setting my alarm.

Sunday, January 16^th

            Today I spent my whole day with my family. It's nice, but I think it would wear on me after a while. I know...I just got here yesterday, and I'm already planning my escape. I can't figure out exactly how they're treating me. They offer things to me like a guest, but today, my host dad pointed out that I needed to brush my hair, which made me feel like a daughter, I guess. By the way, I know there are more than a few of you who are a little relieved that he told me to brush the rat's nest that is my hair. Anyway, then, when we went out to lunch, he hit my shoulder to get me to say hello to one of his friends, which made me feel like a little blonde puppet. I didn't appreciate that role much.

            I woke up this morning and pretty much all day, Jame has been helping me with my Thai. I really appreciated it, but it really wore me out. This whole experience is kind of tiring actually. I feel like I'm on sensory overload. There are too many words to learn, too many people to know, too many customs to remember.

            Around lunch time, my dad and sister along with some of their friends took me to eat lunch near a temple. There was a party going on to celebrate a new monk. The food was good; the conversation awkward. This was also around the time that my dad hit my shoulder. I know I'm reading too much into this, but it kind of offended me actually. I ran into Megan and Carol, two other volunteers, while I was there. They seem to be settling in well.

            After lunch, we came back home and Jame recommenced the grueling studying schedule. I know, in the end, I'll be grateful for it, but as of now, I just want to hide my book from her and take a nap. A little later, some of the little kids around my house called out that two other foreigners were outside. Megan and Ellie had gone on their bikes with their two sisters and found me. We sat around here for a while and then headed out to find more of the volunteers in our sub-district. We found Chris, Kylene, and Josh. Chris definitely has the best set-up. His host family owns a large piece of property. Plus, he has a western toilet, which is really how I judge luck. I think, right now, I'm just feeling a bit claustrophobic. I'm used to being able to do whatever, whenever. This is a bit of a challenging transition to make. I just hope it gets a little better day by day.

Tuesday, January 18^th

            Today was our second day of PST staying with our host families. Yesterday my family dropped my sub-district's group off and picked us up from our training site, which they were supposed to do to make sure that we knew the way home. Great. Ok, but they did it again today, which was unnecessary. We have a large group of volunteers that know their way around, so they really didn't need to come get me again. I was actually kind of disappointed after I saw them because I had wanted to just decompress after the long day. I know they're just trying to be thoughtful. I think if it happens again, though, I'll just have to have one of the language teachers tell them they don't have to. It might seem as if I'm complaining about them; I'm not. I just need some time after all the hectic scheduled lectures to shoot the shit with other Americans.

            I will say, though, this family is kind of growing on me. Tonight, I showed them pictures of my family, and then they showed me some of theirs. If everything kept on like this, we'll be just fine.

            Wednesday, January 19^th

            Today was our first day back to language training, which I really enjoy. My dad took me to the school where it's held, and we picked up Kylene and Josh along the way. Sarita, our ajaan, or teacher, was already there. We took a little tour around the school with all the little kids staring and smiling at us. Better friendly stares than hostile ones, I suppose. I think this must be a wealthier school because they had a computer room, and the classrooms looked pretty well-furnished. Probably very dissimilar to the schools we'll be placed in at our permanent sites.

            We lined up at 8:15 with the children to sing the national anthem and say a prayer. Then, the teachers wanted us to introduce ourselves. That was no problem, but the minute Sarita asked us where we are from, I immediately lost all my Thai and had no idea what she was talking about. Luckily, Kylene was able to rebound quicker and answered the question. I figured this little slip-up did not bode well for the language lesson, but it actually went ok. Today we studied more family stuff, age and money. Sometimes I feel like my mouth is so far ahead of brain and words just spill out. And sometimes, these words happen to be in the right order. Many times, though, I fumble through a sentence so badly that it seems like I'm just spewing nonsense.

            The school where we're studying was so sweet and fed us lunch. It's part of their protocol to offer lunch to guests. I hope it doesn't happen every time as I would feel a bit guilty. I have to say it was good, though, so I'm torn.

            After a very delicious lunch, we rode up to our hub for the TCCO classes. A current TCCO volunteer, Melissa, came to give a presentation today. She's very peppy and fun, which made it interesting. She gave us a lot of great tips about teaching English. It made me realize a lot of what I did wrong in Korea. I hope my morale says high here because in Korea, I felt so beaten down that I just gave up a little bit. Completely unfair for the students, but there was so much pressure on me to complete books, teach writing, plan activities, etc. that I was bound to collapse.

            After training, Ellie, Chris, and I stopped to get a beer, which made me nervous, because I was sure my host family was out searching the whole district for me. What do you know, but that right after we dropped Ellie off, I got a call from the fam wondering if I'd lost my way. Actually, they are turning out really great. My mom did my laundry for me, which although I wanted to do it myself, is still awesome. Also, one of my favorite things during the day is hanging out with them after dinner. They helped me with my homework tonight. I showed them my American money. It makes staying here so much better when you have a cool family to chill with.

Friday, January 21^st

            I'm pretty sure you can get used  to to anything. That's what I've learned from these past couple of weeks. After being in the hotel for a week, I was really unsure about the whole home stay thing. At that point, I was used to western toilets, air conditioning, and my choice of food at the buffet. Since moving in with my host family, I've lost all of that. But, I'm okay with it. Each morning, I wake up freezing under my mosquito net to a rooster crowing just feet away from my window. I finally roll out of bed at about six and make my way to the bathroom.

            As I've previously mentioned, it's a squat toilet, which is essentially a hole in the ground.

*The contents of this blog are about to get graphic for those of you with a weak stomach.

            It took me a couple of days before my bowels would relax enough to let me go. I was so pumped when I finally did. Like parents potty-training their two-year-old pumped. The next day, I went into that bathroom with a bit of a swagger actually, knowing I could do it. My confidence was knocked down a peg or eight when I discovered that I had missed the hole. Not only the hole; I had missed the entire toilet. Mortified, I frantically searched around for something to pick it up with . Nothing. There was nothing. I took a deep breath...and dug in. Bare-handed. After a massive amount of water and toilet disinfectant, I was satisfied with my clean-up of the area. My hands were another story. I wanted to set my left hand on fire to be sure, but since no matches were to be found I scrubbed the hell out of my hands for about five minutes. (Later that day, at training, when we were asked about our most embarrassing story so far, I could only coyly smile. If they only knew the truth...no one would ever borrow a pen from me again.)

*You may now resume your previously excrement-free reading.

            Typically, my bathroom experience is not so eventful. I shower in the evenings with a bucket. There's a large container of cold water and a bucket. Luckily, the weather here is so hot and sticky that it's not too terrible.

            Meal times are on the floor. We each get our own plate of rice and take a spoonful at a time of any of the five or so dishes.

            In the evenings, we usually sit around on the floor as a family and chat or watch TV. My Thai skills are not so great that I can get much from these shows, except when they make the obvious unrequited love look or bring out machine guns, so I usually spend my time trying to learn the Thai alphabet, which is currently making me it's bitch. My family is great about helping me though.

            Each day I'm here seems like a re-affirmation that this is where I should be. One of these days, I'm going to reach a point where I am feeling so uninspired, hot or fed-up that I'm going to question that, but I just need to remember that I've already been up to my wrists in shit.

Saturday, January 22^nd

            Today, all I wanted to do was stay in bed. This week has been so long and so tiring, I just wanted to chill. But this is the Peace Corps, and down time does not seem to be on the agenda. Ever. Typically, we'll be spending our Saturday mornings learning Thai with our ajaan, but today we did community mapping. It's an exercise that will really help us when we get into our permanent villages because it helps us to determine the important people and places where we live, which will be helpful when we're trying to start projects. So, I met my group at 8 a.m. We went over some key vocabulary before setting off. Our group of five didn't stop at too many places other than our host family's houses. We found the wat and school and places to get snacks along with way.

            We stopped at Chris' place where we learned a lot about different plants because his dad is an organic farmer. Most produce in Thailand has a lot of pesticides on it, so he's able to sell all that he has because people know they can trust his food. From there went to the wat, which is really pretty. I want to return tomorrow to take pictures.

            Then, we went to Kylene's house, where her dad was able to tell us the names of some of the leaders in her village. My dad is the head of the village where I live. Riding on, we stopped at Rick's where a lot of the people in the community were giving food to about eight monks during some sort of ceremony. We watched for a bit. They sat at the front of the room chanting for the full time we were there and continued after we left, while people either watched or prepared food. The volunteers, me included, each got a turn to spoon rice into a bowl for them. The bowls would then be handed to the monks by only men because the monks aren't allowed to come into contact with women or else they have to do a whole cleansing ceremony. I know I'm describing this like some fifth grade field trip I went on, but I'm not entirely sure what I was watching. I've heard murmurings that they were celebrating a young man who has just become a monk.

            We stopped by my house after that, but my dad wasn't home to answer questions. We all met at the health center in our town to map out everything we found. Then we went to eat guut di-ow muu, which is pork with noodles. Kind of like Vietnamese pho. Delicious.

Already behind on blogging

Surprise, surprise. I haven't updated since I've been in country. Actually I'm pretty sure that isn't a surprise to anyone who knows me. So, to make this easy on everyone I'm going to give a list of short phrases to sum up my week leading up to Thailand. Late-night packing. Three hours of sleep. Early morning wake-up. Nervous car ride to Indianapolis International. Tears at the gate. Flight to Philadelphia. Meet some other volunteers. Starbucks. Official Peace Corps welcome. Meet more volunteers. Aspirations. Meet more volunteers. Expectations. Fears. Meet more volunteers. Early morning wake-up. Bus to JFK. Maintenance issues. Wait in baggage claim. Finally get on flight to Thailand! Japan. Spend night in hotel. Narita International. Late-night landing in Bangkok. Huge hotel room. Three hours of sleep. Information sessions. Bed. Get bikes. Bike riding all day. Sweat. A lot. Bed. Meet governor. Introductions in Thai. Nerves. Information sessions. First official Thai lesson. Bike-riding test. Bed. I promise my other blogs will be more information-rich. This week has been beyond exhausting, though. Tomorrow we're moving in with our host families, who we'll be living with for the rest of our pre-service training (PST). My Internet connection could be very sparse, so I may not be able to update for awhile (but I promise I will.)

Last Day at Home

I feel like everything I do today is going to be proceeded by the word 'last.' Last cup of coffee; last time seeing my friend, Rita; last time I drive a car. A couple of months ago when I got home from traveling, I was almost immediately ready to head out again. But now, since I've been home awhile again, I'm getting sad. I'm going to miss a lot in 27 months. This I know. It just better be worth it.

Narcissism

Also, I'm aware that following myself makes me look a little self-obsessed. It was an accident.

Argh. Packing.

I'm trying a new thing this time around. When I was preparing to leave for Korea a year and a half ago, I was running around like crazy the day before I left, buying last minute things, meeting up with people to say goodbye to, and weighing my bags. They were inevitably too heavy, so I had to throw stuff out, redistribute, decide to wear my winter boots on the plane in August, etc. I was literally a hot mess. In preparation for the Peace Corps, though, I started packing a couple of weeks ago. I feel like I've got a pretty good handle on things, but it always ends up that I way overpack. Then, I get over to wherever I'm going and question the sanity of bringing three pairs of jeans to a climate that barely dips below 70 degrees. Luckily, I have a mother who, among her arsenal of mantras, always says, "If money can fix it, it's not a problem." So, worst case scenario, I overpay for the Western goods that I know I will miss in the upcoming 27 months.

For that reason, I'm really relieved that I'm going back to a country that I've been to before. Naturally, I have my concerns about this commitment, but that worry would only be compounded if I were going somewhere where I had never even set foot on the continent. Although I still have a lot to learn, I at least know that I enjoy the people, scenery and, most importantly to a foodie like myself, the cuisine of Thailand.